


Paul Landers/Christoph Schneider's Love Story

by nickcullenlind1



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Drunken Flirting, Engagement, Flirting, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-13 11:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickcullenlind1/pseuds/nickcullenlind1
Summary: Day to day life of Paul and Schneider's relationship with it being shopping, dinner dates or drunken nights out.Chapter 1: Paul has spent a busy day buying Christmas gifts for the guys in the freezing snow and rain. He is fully exhausted and all energy has gone down the drain. Suddenly a hot bath and a cup of hot chocolate with Schneider sounds just about what he needs right now....





	1. Shopping

The front door slams open and Paul practically falls through it, loaded down with heavy shopping bags on each arm. It feels like a huge weight has been attached to his limbs and he struggles to pull the bags off. He takes one step forward and feels himself wobbling.

"Ah, fuck it!" He screams as he falls down, pulled to the floor by the bags. He lays there face down, practically inhaling the carpet, and can hear the patter of feet approach him. 

"Paul?" Schneider kneels beside him on the floor, his hands patting his back. "Are you dead? Do I need to make funeral arrangements?" He jokes and Paul laughs softly.

"Just pull me up, Schneider. I'm tired and I think these bags are trying to become a part of me." He complains and Schneider's hands pull underneath his armpits, hauling him up. He comes face to face with Schneider who smiles. "How was shopping?" He asks though he can probably tell from Paul's exhausted looking expression. 

"Annoying. There were crowds everywhere and everyone's taller than me." He complains and Schneider laughs. The deep sound of Schneider's voice cheers Paul up a little and he stands up. "I need tea." He heads to the kitchen but is stopped as Schneider blocks his path with his tall frame. 

"I planned ahead. I've made hot chocolate for you." He points to the coffee table in the living room and Paul rushes over to grab a mug. "Slow down, it's hot!" Schneider laughs and takes a seat beside him. He reaches around to unzip Paul's jacket while Paul warms his hands on his mug. 

Paul takes a sip and sighs, his head resting against Schneider's shoulder. "What would I do without you?" He kisses Schneider's shoulder who rolls his eyes at his compliments. "Ah, stop. You're only being nice because of the drink. But it's true, where would you be without me?" He boasts and Paul smirks. "Unemployed probably." He giggles, showing his childish smile. 

Schneider kisses his nose and wraps his arms around him, pulling him between his legs. "Drink your hot chocolate and stop being soppy. I've run a bath for you."   
"Us." Paul corrects and Schneider's eyes roll again. "I am not having a bath with you, Paul." He insists, and Paul groans. 

"You are. Rubber duck says so." He pokes Schneider in the ribs and he squeals. "Fuck you, Paul." He laughs and Paul smiles. "You're a big softie really. I've known you a long time and I know that hard black heart of yours is thawing." 

Schneider feigns offence. "Hard heart? I have feelings, I'm very in touch with my feminine side." He insists and stands up, scooting Paul off him.   
"Bath." He points upwards towards the direction of the stairs and Paul huffs, pushing away his mug of hot chocolate.

"Fine. But you're coming with me." He insists and starts to undress there and then. Schneider blinks and can feel an itch starting to form between his legs. "Upstairs." He grunts. "And stop playing with me." 

Paul takes off running upstairs, leaving his rumpled jeans and t-shirt on the floor for Schneider to pick up. "You're such a douchebag." He follows him into the bathroom where Paul is waiting, in his pants and hands on hips mischeviously. 

Schneider pulls off his shirt and undoes his jeans. "Hurry up." Paul whines and rushes forward to finish him off. "Take them off." He pulls them down before Schneider can object and lands a light kiss on his lips. "There." He breathes. "Isn't that much better?" 

Schneider sighs at Paul's efforts to flirt and removes his boxers. Paul eyes him hungrily but Schneider points at the tub and he obeys. "Good boy." He praises and Paul squirms. "How come you get to be the demanding one?" He complains and Schneider sighs, easing himself into the tub, tap side, which is quite uncomfortable. 

"I don't know. I'm just naturally demanding." He shrugs. "I'm older though." Paul continues and Schneider repeats his shrugging. "Two years older." He laughs and Paul huffs, folding his arms. "That's the lifespan of a giraffe." Paul argues and Schneider's eyebrows furrow. "You just made that up." He splashes water at him which goes in his eyes. 

"Schneider! Mein Gott, I can't see!" He yells and Schneider reluctantly passes him a towel. He dabs at his eyes and glares. "Tell me about your shopping. What did you buy me?" Schneider pesters him and Paul laughs. "I'm not going to tell you obviously! You'll have to wait until Santa comes." He teases and Schneider smirks. 

"What if I've been a bad boy?" He questions, scooting closer to Paul and manouvering himself to hover above him. "Schneider, you are not getting on top of me in the bath. Choose a more romantic setting." He gently pushes him off. 

Schneider almost pouts and Paul laughs. "And as for your question, you're being a very naughty boy, but even you get a present." He reaches over to pat him on the head and Schneider frowns. 

"I want a clue. Please." He gives him his puppy dog blue eyes and Paul nearly breaks but decides against it and shakes his head. "Nein. Pass me the shower gel. I smell like rain and sweaty people." He takes the shower gel from Schneider's open hand and starts to lather it all over his body. 

"Need any help with that?" Schneider offers and watches him with hooded eyes. "Schneider, take your eyes somewhere else." Paul grunts and splashes water at him. 

"Nein, I'm enjoying the view." He admires and starts on washing himself. Once they finish, Schneider drains the water and steps out, holding out the towel for Paul after securing one around his waist. 

Paul takes it and heads into their room. "You want me to help you get dried off?" Schneider tries again and Paul gasps. "Again with your flirting? Stop being a pervert, Schneider. Maybe you can get a kiss, later." 

Once wearing pyjamas, Schneider holds Paul between his legs and clicks onto Netflix. "How about a film?" He offers and hands Paul the remote. "You can choose this time." 

Paul scrolls through the film list before settling on Mamma Mia. "Really? This film is corny." Schneider groans and Paul laughs. "Get over it. I'm going to sing all the way through it." 

Schneider shifts away from Paul and rolls onto his side. "I'm going to sleep. Enjoy the film." He yawns sleepily. "It's eight o'clock, you're such a big boy." He jokes and Schneider flips him off. "Whatever." He smiles. 

"You said I'd get kisses." Schneider pipes up after a few minutes and Paul sighs. "Yeah, I did." He leans against his body and snuggles into him, landing kisses on his cheek. 

Schneider rolls so he can face him before kissing his lips. His eyes close and his arms tighten around his waist, pulling him closer. "I love you, Paul." He murmurs softly and rolls back over. Paul covers him with a blanket. 

"I love you too, Schneider. Now go to sleep."


	2. Dinner Date- PaulxSchneider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Paul and Schneider's one year anniversary and a surprise dinner at their favourite restaurant is planned by Paul. It's been a year, so does that mean there might be a Rammstein wedding at stake?

Paul stands before the mirror,  fastening his tie, trying to calm his nerves that are overpowering him. He takes deep breaths and turns up the cuffs of his shirt, trying to make himself presentable for Schneider. 

He's not really a suit and tie kind of person but for tonight, he has to dress the right way. Tonight has to be a good one. He combs what little amount of hair he has left and grabs the suit jacket he has draped across the chair in his bedroom. 

Schneider knocks the bedroom door and peeks around the edge. "Paul? Are you nearly ready? Are you going to tell me where we're going?" He looks hopeful but Paul shakes his head. "No. It's a surprise, I'm not spoiling it." He insists, and turns off the bedroom light, stepping into the corridor where Schneider gapes at him. 

"Paul? You're wearing a suit." He gasps astonished and Paul wears his childish smile playfully. "You look lovely too." He responds, admiring Schneider's suit. He pulls him towards him by the lapels of his jacket. "Well I thought I should dress up for tonight. It's been one year since we got together. Can you believe it's been that long already?" He sighs softly and Schneider smiles. 

"I know, Paulchen." He runs his hand over Paul's rounded head and kisses his nose gently. Schneider still remembers the night out in Berlin when the guys managed to persuade them into kissing each other. Though both hammered from drink, they felt the intense romantic feelings running through them which left them confused and excited about how they felt for each other. 

Schneider wraps his arms around Paul's waist, placing small kisses along the back of his neck so that Paul shivers. "I can't believe we waited twenty years before admitting our feelings for each other." He sighs and Schneider nods agreement. "I know, my darling. We have the guys to thank for the start of our relationship." 

"Yes we do." Paul agrees, wiggling out of Schneider's grasp to face him. "Let's leave. I'm so hungry." He grabs the car keys and opens the front door. "Come on." He looks over his shoulder at Schneider who is smiling. "You're hungry? Is that a clue?" He asks and Paul raises his eyebrows. "A clue? Calm down Sherlock Holmes, get in the car." Paul pushes him out of the door. 

Schneider does as he's told and jumps into the passenger seat. Paul slots the keys into the engine and they set off on their date. But God knows where they're going..... 

                  ************  
Paul pulls up outside and Schneider immediately looks out the window. He stays silent for a second. "You've taken me to a strip club." He says, tone flat. He turns to Paul who is trying to hide his smile at the little joke he's playing on him.

Schneider wrinkles his nose in distaste. "I don't mind going to strip clubs but....it's our one year anniversary Paul." The look of disappointment on his face makes Paul feel a little bad for playing a prank on him but it'll be worth it.   
He hopes so anyway. 

"I'm in a same sex relationship with you." He continues. "So why would I want to look at women?" He sounds confused and let down. Paul tries to stifle his smile. "In case you missed them. Tits are pretty cool." He adds cheekily but Schneider doesn't smile. 

"Okay, Paul. Let's go." He sounds deflated and goes to open the passenger door, but Paul grabs his arm. Schneider looks him in the eyes. "Do you really think I'd wear a suit if we were going to a club?" He rolls his eyes as if he can't believe Schneider could be so gullible. 

"What are you saying?" Schneider sounds more hopeful and upbeat. "I'm saying that this is a prank. We're going to that restaurant you like on the high street." He giggles, restarting the engine while Schneider yells and curses at him in German. "Mein Gott, Paul you kill me." He smiles, flopping back against his seat. 

Paul drives off and barely thirty seconds later, they've arrived at the restaurant. "We could have just walked." Schneider points out though Paul shakes his head in disagreement. "I've got little legs. It would have taken....fur immer." He finishes his sentence in German and Schneider laughs. 

"Do you mean 'forever'?" He translates and Paul nods. "That's it." He smiles and Schneider shakes his head in disbelief. "It's been twenty years and you still can't speak English properly." He mocks and Paul playfully glares. "I forget words now and then. You do too." He points out although he knows it isn't true. 

"No I don't. I speak the best English in the band." He boasts and then thinks it over. "Actually, it's Richard who speaks it the best but no need to be too accurate." He concludes and Paul sniggers a little before jumping out of the car. 

Schneider joins him and holds out his arm, gesturing to the building. "Monsieur?" He jokes, and leads Paul into the restaurant with him. "What, we're French now?" Paul giggles and holds open the door for Schneider who ducks under his arm to walk in. 

The waiter escorts them to a table and Paul grabs the menu before Schneider can look at it. "Greedy fuck." Schneider slaps his wrist gently and Paul snickers. "I want a burger. I want two burgers actually.  I'm so hungry. You never feed me." Paul complains and Schneider rolls his eyes. 

"Please. Shut up and give me the menu." He responds, pulling it out of Paul's hands before he can blink. "Hey!" Paul laughs, settling back in his seat. "That's not fair." 

Schneider smiles at him over the top of his menu and Paul blushes, turning away. Schneider scans the menu, but his long curls get in the way of his sight so Paul reaches forwards and brushes them behind his ears. "Let me help you with that." He teases and Schneider smiles. "Danke." 

"You need a haircut." Paul observes and Schneider looks outraged. "Why? I like my long hair. It suits me. I look like a baby when it's short." He complains and Paul smirks. "Ja, but you're my baby." He acknowledges and Schneider scoffs. "Stop being so fucking soppy." He places the menu back in the holder. 

"I'm having the BBQ chicken." He announces and Paul looks confused. "I thought you were vegetarian?" He reminds him and Schneider holds out his hands in surrender. "I change my mind now and then." He adds and Paul sighs. 

"A vegetarian doesn't eat meat at all, loser. If you're going to convert to a religion then you have to stick to the rules."  
"Vegetarian isn't a religion." Schneider argues and Paul rolls his eyes. "It's a way of life, so it's a religion." He summarises and Schneider groans. 

"You have such weird views. What are you having anyway? I need to order or I'll die from hunger."   
"You're close to dying anyway." Paul comments and Schneider sighs. "You're fifty one now. You could drop dead at any moment." Paul demonstrates by laying his head on the table. "See? Dead." He sits back up and Schneider looks confused and freaked out by how weird he is. 

"You're a sick fuck. And you're older than me. So you'll die first and I'll get the life insurance." Schneider points out smugly. "Yeah," Paul agrees. "The whole €1 policy. Whoopee." He teases and Schneider smiles. "Enough of that. What are you having?"

Paul glances at the menu, almost changing his mind but decides not to. "I'll stick with the cheeseburger." He chooses and Schneider stands up. 

"Cool. I'll be back in a second. Or maybe I'll break up with you before you're weird and then leave." He shrugs and Paul swats at him with the menu. "Funny." He snarks and Schneider smiles at him over his shoulder. 

When Schneider returns, he sets down two glasses of red wine and Paul admires the bottle. "How much was this?" He asks. "I thought I was the one surprising and treating you." He jokes and Schneider shrugs. 

"It's our anniversary. We deserve something nice. Both of us." He insists and Paul nods in understanding. A few minutes pass before Paul pipes: "Speaking of nice.." He points behind Schneider where the waiter is coming with the food. 

The plates are set down and the waiter disappears. "Mein Gott, Paul. What is that?" Schneider gestures to the monster of a burger sat on Paul's plate. 

Paul smiles cheekily. "I may be small, but I can devour anything big." He states and then blushes at what he said. "Yes," Schneider agrees, teasing him. "I know that." He flirts and Paul giggles, turning away from him. 

"Shut up and let me eat my burger." Paul grunts, embarrassed. "No one's stopping you." Schneider points out and Paul sighs dramatically. "Have you finished? I'm hungry." He sasses and picks up the monstrous burger with both hands. 

Schneider digs in to his BBQ chicken, casually violating the rules of being a vegetarian, while Paul attempts a way of actually biting the burger. 

"I must look so weird." Paul giggles, mouth open wide with the burger still intact. "You look weird anyway." Schneider shrugs and passes him a knife. "Cut it in half so you can eat it easily." Schneider suggests but Paul looks outraged. "That would break my heart. I can't kill my burger. I'm not a monster, Schneider." He jokes and Schneider laughs at him. 

He polishes off his BBQ chicken while Paul struggles to chew his burger. Eventually, he shoves it back down on hia plate, sighing heavily. Schneider stands up and walks around to Paul's side of the table. 

Wrapping his arms around his waist from behind, he grabs the knife and fork and neatly cuts the burger in half, while somehow managing to keep it intact. 

"I am very proud. You are magic, Schneider." Paul says, amazed and Schneider laughs. "I'm just good at that kind of stuff. It's no big deal." He shrugs, embarrassed. Schneider has never been great at recieving compliments. Only Paul really knows that deep inside, he can be quite timid and shy. 

He's not got the greatest confidence and Paul knows that, which is why he contstantly showers him with compliments to lift his self esteem.   
"Well thank you. Now I can eat my burger without breaking my jaw." Paul jokes and Schneider lands a light kiss on his cheek. 

"You're welcome, Paulchen." He mumbles, red faced and heads back to his seat. "You're adorable." Paul observes and Schneider goes to hide behind his hair but remembers that Paul has tucked it behind his ears. 

He brings it back to in front of his face. Now that's eaten his food, he doesn't care if it gets in his way.

He stays quiet and red faced, though feeling warm because of that minor compliment while Paul works his way through his burger. 

Once finished, he cleans his hands on his napkin and pulls out a small black box, placing it casually on the table in front of him. Schneider notices and goes white with shock, freezing completely, his hand stuck in his hair.

Paul notices. "I know. I know it's sudden. I just...it's been a year and..I..." He trails off and Schneider manages to get his muscles to work once more. He pulls the box towards him and opens it, though he knows what's inside. He takes a shaky breath as the golden wedding band is revealed, glimmering and shiny. 

He looks up at Paul. "Darling, I want to. I'm just...." He stops, knowing full well if he continues he'll start stammering from nerves. He glances around to see if anyone has noticed and realises that clever Paul has chosen a table that gives them complete privacy. 

"Did you plan this?" Schneider gestures to the position of the table and Paul smiles his smug, childish smile. "Perhaps. Are you mad at me?" He sounds a little nervous but keeps that sweet smile on his face. 

"No..I just..." Schneider pulls out a black box from his pocket and Paul's mouth forms an 'O' shape from surprise. Schneider meets his eyes. "I was going to propose to you too." He admits, a smile forming on his face. 

"Oh my God." Paul giggles. "Great minds think alike, Schneidy." He starts to laugh hard and Schneider, although embarrassed joins in, laughing quietly in case anyone comes past. 

"So," Paul wipes the tears of laughter away and regains his composure. "Will you marry me Christoph Schneider?" He asks seriously and Schneider groans. 

"That's supposed to be what I was asking you." Schneider points out and Paul starts to giggle again. "But yes." Schneider interupts his noise. "I will marry you, although you're short and ugly." He jokes and Paul nods in agreement. "Very true. And I'm slowly going bald." He adds and Schneider smiles. "True. But...you're beautiful." He compliments and Paul pulls a flattered face. 

"Danke. Take it." He points to the box and Schneider picks up the ring. "Shouldn't you put it on me?" He says confused and Paul nods. "Yeah I guess." 

Schneider smiles in relief and Paul rethinks things. "But let's have dessert first. I want apple strudel."


	3. Joking Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of other two chapters

By the time Schneider and Paul get back home from their dinner date, Paul is drunk to the point of being giggly and can barely walk in a straight line. Schneider, the ever sensible one, hopes to God that Paul remembers where he parked the car this evening.

He knows they'll have to get it back in the morning. They took a cab home, Schneider insisted on it and now here they are. Back home, at half past one in the morning. "I'm exhausted, Paul." Schneider groans softly, rubbing at his tired eyes. The numerous drinks they had to celebrate are already taking their toll on Schneider and he feels full like he's eaten too much. 

"Maybe I shouldn't have had that sticky toffee pudding, eh Paul?" He jokes and sighs softly as he eases himself onto the sofa beside him. "Paul," He nudges. "I'm talking to you." He adds and tilts his chin. 

Paul lets out a loud snore, confirming he's already fallen asleep. Schneider gasps in mock offense. "You ignorant little fuck." He smiles, pulling Paul's head onto his shoulder. 

Paul sleeps against him for a few minutes while Schneider reaches for the TV remote. It's on the edge of the footstool but Schneider can't grab it without waking Paul. The dickhead. 

"Fuck." He sighs, flopping back against the sofa. "Damn it. What am I supposed to do?" He talks out loud to himself, before taking what must be the 100th time he's looked at his ring this evening. 

It glimmers on his finger, and Schneider glows inwardly with pride. He's going to be married. Again. He thinks about his ex wife, Regina. He should never have married a woman, it was directly ignoring his feelings. Paul being at that wedding broke his heart; he should have been the person he was marrying. 

Paul's smile had been plastered across his face though Schneider knew deep inside, Paul's heart was breaking. Ten more years of denying his true feelings until that amazing night out where all his priorities came into place and he knew he wanted Paul. 

Paul groans in his sleep and Schneider is jolted back to reality. "Cucumbers..." Paul mumbles and Schneider sighs. "You are one weirdo." He smiles and tries to wedge him into the sofa so he can grab the remote. 

His fingers brush it just as Paul grabs him in his sleep and pulls him back against him. "Damn it. I'm trying to do something here." He complains and Paul clings to him. "Screw this." Schneider stands up and lifts Paul into his big arms. 

Paul rests his head against Schneider's shoulder as he carries him up the stairs to bed. He kicks open the bedroom door and somehow manages to click on the light. 

"I'm talented as hell." He remarks and lowers Paul onto the bed. He lays there like a starfish while Schneider undresses him. He unbuttons his shirt and gently tries to pulls his arms out of the sleeves, but Paul is so still from sleep that it makes it difficult. 

"Mein Gott, Paul, move your damn arms." He grunts and Paul mumbles something incoherent. Schneider groans and pulls harder, it seems like Paul can't feel anything anyway. 

He takes the shirt and scrunches it into a ball before throwing it onto the hallway by the clothes basket. He pulls off the tie and does the same before undoing the trousers. 

Paul giggles in his sleep. "Schneider. Let's have sex."   
Schneider frowns at him and places a light kiss on his lips, resulting in a moan from Paul. "Mmm..Schneider." He rubs at his eyes and starts to wake up slowly. "Kiss me." He asks softly and Schneider rolls his eyes. 

"You're half asleep, you don't know what you're saying." He teases and Paul groans in frustration. "Kiss. Me." He insists. "Or am I too ugly for you?" He adds, opening his eyes fully. "Yeah, that's right." Schneider agrees. "You're too ugly and I want to break off this engagement." He jokes and Paul grabs Schneider's collar and brings him closer. 

He presses his lips against his and smiles happily as Schneider pulls away. "You taste like beer." He remarks and Schneider frowns. "Thanks." He jokes and takes off his shirt and trousers before throwing everything into the washing basket. 

In his underwear, he heads over to Paul who lays on the bed, and flashes a flirty smile at Schneider who blushes. "Stop." He smiles back more nervously and climbs under the covers with him, settling himself on top. 

Paul grunts from the added weight and Schneider moves back, re-positioning himself to make Paul more comfortable. "Better?" He asks and Paul nods, smiling with relief. "You're such a fat bastard." Paul giggles and Schneider gently slaps his face playfully. 

"That hurt." Paul warns and Schneider pulls his puppy dog eyes face. "I'm very sorry. Forgive me." He sticks out his lower lip playfully and lisps a little. Paul retches. "Ughhh, ageplay, that's so not my thing." He groans, rolling out from underneath him. 

"Come back." Schneider's arms wrap around his waist and pulls him against him. His chest presses into his back and Paul closes his eyes. "I want more kisses from my fiance." Paul stretches out the word and Schneider rolls his eyes. 

"Is that really how you're going to refer to me as? Fiance this, fiance that. I'm Schneider." He stresses and Paul giggles. "No, you're Christoph." He states and Schneider narrows his eyes, making Paul squeal. "That's a warning." He growls, and Paul smiles at him. 

"Okay, Chris. I'll stop." He giggles and Schneider cringes. "Don't call me that, Paul." He sighs and rolls onto his side away from him. 

"Schneider? I'm only teasing, come here my little kohl." He kisses Schneider's mass of dark hair and wraps his arms around his waist. "Kohl?" Schneider smirks, trying to contemplate the fact that Paul just called him a cabbage. 

"My little cabbage." Paul repeats and Schneider presses his lips together, desperate not to give him the satisfaction of laughing. "Fine." Paul jokes. "Keep brooding like a teenager then." He nudges Schneider's ribs and he gasps from the touch. 

"I'm a drummer, I'm supposed to be edgy and moody." Schneider preaches and Paul sighs at him. "Seriously, I thought you outgrew your emo phase." He snarks and Schneider smiles again. "I dip into it occasionally." He responds and Paul snuggles into him.

"You know," He presses his face into Schneider's back. "I quite liked the emo Schneider. The short hair and the leather clothes. It was cool. You looked sick." He teases and Schneider groans. "I was nineteen." He defends and Paul laughs. 

"I think it was more like twenty five. You only outgrew it when you were like, thirty." He giggles and Schneider rolls to face him. "Oh, really? You're only teasing because you look like a drag queen with eyeliner on." He sasses back and Paul raises his eyebrows. 

"Bitch please. I'm short so I pass as a woman quite well." He jokes and Schneider laughs. "I think you'll find that you will never, ever not even by a small stretch, be able to beat Frau Schneider. She is the goddess of...drag queens I guess." He shrugs and Paul smirks. 

"Frau Schneider. She really spiced up our sex life." He teases and Schneider blushes. "Did you enjoy wearing the stockings when you gave me that lapdance?" Paul giggles and Schneider covers his face. "Stop. I was drunk." He protests and Paul giggles again. 

"You were hot." He assures. "You make a very convincing woman, Frau Schneider." He nudges him and Schneider raises his eyebrows. "You may only address me as 'Frau' when I'm dressed in my 'lady gear'." He authorises and Paul laughs. 

"I'm sorry. Forgive me." He teases and Schneider keeps blushing. "I think it's cool that you're in touch with your feminine side." Paul reassures and Schneider smiles. 

"I think it's weird that you're turned on by it." Schneider admits and Paul snuggles into his chest. "Are you going to wear a dress to our wedding?" He suggests and Schneider laughs in response. "It'll be different." He presses and Schneider mulls it over. 

"Perhaps I'll turn up in full Frau Schneider mode. Wig, dress, make up, painted nails, the whole lot." He jokes and Paul glances at him to check he isn't being serious. "I think it's cool but your parents....I'm not sure how they'd react." Paul sighs, his big idea deflating slightly.

"You can wear a dress during the honey moon." Paul suggests. "You're not giving up on this are you?" Schneider sighs, kissing Paul's forehead and Paul sighs softly. "Mmm. No I'm not." 

"I just want you to know that...I've always loved you." Paul adds quietly and Schneider scoffs. "Ugh. Soppy overload." He groans and Paul sighs in frustration. "Schneider, you're a feminine guy. You need to be more in touch with your feelings." He preaches and Schneider laughs at him. 

"What do you want to say? I like romance but the whole 'I'm so in love' thing just turns me sick." He grunts and Paul sighs. "Fine you boring little heartless plonker." He playfully insults. 

Schneider sits up and pushes him off gently, looking into his eyes. "I love you, okay? I'm very happy about our engagement and I love looking at my ring." He concludes and Paul beams at him. "See?" He play punches him. "That wasn't so hard was it, kohl?" He teases and Schneider groans. 

"I'm not a cabbage." He insists and Paul giggles. "Okay then, fiance." He changes tactic and Schneder sighs at him. "Are you deliberately trying to piss me off?" He smiles fondly and Paul nods. "That's a big word for you." He teases and Schneider settles back down onto his pillow. 

"Go to sleep, Paul." He glances at the alarm clock. "It's 2:30. You've been teasing and joking for an hour. I've had enough." He kisses Paul lightly on his lips. 

"Gute nacht, my little cabbage." Paul mumbles and presses his body into Schneider's. Schneider grabs a hold of Paul's hand and clutches it gently. "Goodnight little onion." Schneider smiles back and Paul giggles. 

"What the fuck is wrong with us?" He splutters and Schneider shrugs. "I don't know but I think I've figured out what our children's names will be." He announces and Paul giggles. 

"Onion and cabbage?" He guesses and Schneider nods. "That's right. It sounds exciting; teaching little Onion and Cabbage to play the drums." He says. 

"Uh, no, bitch. If we're teaching our children about music then they'll be learning guitar." Paul argues and Schneider rolls his eyes. "Okay, short ass, guitar and drums." He concludes and Paul relaxes, cuddling into Schneider. 

"One more thing?" Paul pipes up and Schneider groans. "Is it important or can I pretend to be asleep?" He jokes and Paul nudges him. "Important. How did we get home?" He asks genuinely and Schneider laughs. 

"I was drunk." Paul argues fairly. "We got a cab." Schneider replies. "Oh." Paul grunts. "Seems we have more problems than planning our wedding then." He says grimly and Schneider rolls over. 

"Why?" He sounds wary. Paul looks him in the eyes, giggling. "I've forgotten where I parked the car."   
"PAUL!"   
"Happy engagement???"


End file.
